


on the subject of devotion

by milou407



Series: The Pantheon of Vox Machina [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Altars, Alternate Universe - Mythology, F/M, Folklore, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mythology - Freeform, The Pantheon of Vox Machina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-18 21:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16127084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milou407/pseuds/milou407
Summary: When people speak of the goddess of the free and the god of shadow, they speak of them together. You cannot have one without the other, just as you cannot have dawn without dusk, the tide without the shore, or the moon without the sun. They were not always gods, but they have always been two halves of a single soul, and they let absolutely no one forget it.A continuation/prequel to 'on the subject of worship'.





	on the subject of devotion

When people speak of the goddess of the free and the god of shadow, they speak of them together. You cannot have one without the other, just as you cannot have dawn without dusk, the tide without the shore, or the moon without the sun. They were not always gods, but they have always been two halves of a single soul, and they let absolutely no one forget it.

Vex’ahlia and Vax’ildan grew up with a mother who loved them dearly, and a father who would rather forget that they existed at all. To be fair, both Vax and Vex would later return this sentiment, but it’s still an awful thing to think of one’s own children. So for years they lived happily with their mother in a small but warm home on the edge of a forest. At one point, they were taken to Syngorn, their father’s home, against their wishes to be trained and taught in the elven fashion, but the two of them ended up causing too much trouble to be worth it, and so they were sent back to their mother.

(She scolded them for their behavior, but the dancing light in her eyes and her clear joy at having her children back wrecked any possibility of chastisement. The twins felt no remorse.)

So they lived happily together, Elaina taking in washing and often doing a bit of handy work to provide for them while the twins got lost in the woods or practiced following strangers around town, depending on the day. They got into trouble, how could they not, but they learn quickly how to talk their way out of trouble or to blend into the background to avoid detection, and generally have a very happy childhood.

_He remembers very vividly running with Vex through a forest, laughing and calling to each other. This was before Vex was so surefooted, and in her ten-year-old excitement she catches a foot on a root and almost pitches forward. He catches her arm at the last moment and they stumble forward together, safe and with joined hands. She laughs and says that she can always count on him to catch her before she falls and he thinks **‘You can’.**_

Until Elaina gets sick.

They’re sixteen, too old to be fooled by platitudes and false promises, too young to be ready for a world without their mother, but that’s what they’re facing. Vex’ahlia paces, frustrated tears in her eyes that she grits her teeth against and wills away, Vax’ildan sits, holding his mother’s too thin hand and doesn’t speak, feeling a hollowness in his chest when the clerics and healers say that there’s nothing more that they can do.

Vex becomes the provider, finding an old bow somewhere and learning to shoot out of pure stubbornness, bringing back game that at first is inexpertly and messily killed, but which gets more refined as she learns finesse. Vax stays at home with their mother, taking care of her and the chores she no longer has the energy to do. When she sleeps, he slips out to the back of the house, where the small, unobtrusive altar sits. He burns sage and prays to anyone he thinks might help. Sarenrae, when he’s feeling optimistic, and the Raven Queen when he’s not. He ends up praying to the latter more often than not, asking not for a miracle, but for guidance, and for peace. Sometimes he’ll smell the clean scent of washed cotton, or feel a sharp, cool breeze _it whispers to him and calls him ‘Little Raven’ but always just out of reach,_ but most of the time he’s left alone with his thoughts (and fears). So, he leaves at night, creeps through their small town quiet as a ghost, stealing what he can and doing jobs for the Clasp to supplement their meager coffers. Vex frowns at him when he returns with bruises in the early morning hours, but she knows how necessary it is, so she keeps quiet.

(His mother isn’t lucid enough to notice, and that hurts in its own special way)

Vax is sitting with her when she dies, startled awake by a cold breeze that blows through the small room. He freezes when he sees the woman’s form, leaning over his mother’s body, and his breath stops in his chest.

_Are you here to take her?_ The woman regards him silently, unreadable behind the porcelain mask she wears, and then nods slowly.

_Can you make sure-_ The words stick in his throat, and he must work to get them out, _Make sure she’s not in pain anymore? And that she knows that we love her?_

Not much emotion comes through a mask, but he gets the feeling that her eyes soften, and she nods again. She comes around the bed and lays a hand on his cool face. When she speaks, it sounds like the wind through autumn leaves, and he can’t tell if she speaks out loud or in his mind. _I will. And I will be seeing you again, little one._

He blinks and she’s gone, disappeared back to wherever she came from, taking their mother with her. Vex comes home hours later to find him sitting in the same spot, staring into space, and they collapse together.

They leave soon after, staying would hurt them more than they could bear. They travel, moving from city to city, doing jobs for the Clasp and stealing from those who can afford it. They spend a fair amount of time in the woods too, and after crossing paths with an injured mother bear and some hunters, Vex gets herself a Trinket.

_This is exactly what we need to help us blend in,_ Vax grumbles, _A bear cub._

_Shut the fuck up, brother._

They end up taking a job to investigate something stealing children from a small town, because Vex has a soft spot a mile wide and Vax is unable to deny her anything. They join a couple of people from the Slayer’s Take and set out, Vex using her skills to track the monster out of town. It is _supposed_ to be a fact-finding mission, but when they confront the bouda, it’s standing over the unconscious body of a child and all of the rules go out the window.

It’s a vicious, bloody fight, with Vex and Vax staying to the edges and doing damage where they can. But towards the end, the bouda lets out a roar and goes to swipe vindictively at its prisoner, and Vex lunges to push the child out of harm’s way, which she does.

But in doing so, the bouda sinks its claws deep into her side and rips, and Vax can feel his heart drop out of his body when she hits the ground.

He hurls his dagger into the thing’s eye and doesn’t stop to watch its death throes as he throws himself over Vex’s crumpled form.

_No no no no no nonononon **nononono-**_ He knows things are happening around him, but his world is fading to white and black and _red_ so very much _red_ and then he blinks and everything is dark, except he’s still got Vex’s body cradled in his arms and he looks up and-

_Hello again._ The Raven Queen stands over him, easily twenty feet tall now that they’re in her domain, not his, placid and unmoving.

_Please._ There are tears running down his face but it doesn’t matter because this is a _chance_ , he couldn’t save his mother but maybe Vex, maybe he can save one of them, _Please, help her, I’ll do anything._

_Anything?_ She tilts her head. _I might ask much of you. I might ask everything._

_Everything, you can have it all, as long as she’s safe._ He’s still shaking, but he lifts his head to meet her eyes. _I’m yours, if she lives._

She gives him that look again, the one that means she’s smiling or doing whatever her equivalent is. _Very well._ She waves a hand over him and Vex, and that’s when he feels it.

He can see the rips in Vex healing, becoming one again, and she starts breathing with a small gasp, which then evens out. He feels as though he too can breathe again, and then he looks at his hands. His hands, which are now glowing slightly, but also look blurred at the edges. As though he’s less real than he was a second ago. Vax looks up and makes eye contact with the Raven Queen again.

_What have you done to me?_

_I am an Old One, Little Raven,_ There’s a sound like rocks tumbling on each other, something that sounds like eerie laughter, _but even I can’t be everywhere at once. I need help, and you seem perfect for the opportunity._

_To do what?_

_To help protect this fragile little world._ She reaches out and strokes the side of his face gently. _To carry out my purpose, to bring those who pass to the other side. To ensure that order is upheld. Do you understand?_

He closes his eyes and feels her touch wash over him, like being submerged in cool water. He opens them again and meets her gaze calmly. _Yes. I understand._

_Good._ She crooks her finger. _Come along, then._

He clings to his sister, holding her tightly once more. _May I have a moment? To say goodbye?_

His lady tilts her head and considers. _You may._ She waves a hand, and Vex’ahlia starts awake, scrabbling to find purchase on Vax and breathing heavily.

_How, I- I thought it was…what?_ Her wide eyes search Vax’s face for answers, and she reaches out to touch him, but stops just short. _Vax? What’s going on?_

_Hey, Stubby._ He smiles, only a little sadly. _That was fucking stupid. You scared the shit out of me._

_I know. I’m sorry._ She makes contact, brushes one of his tear tracks away. _Why am I-_ she touches where a claw had ripped through the soft skin of her stomach, now pristine and unmarked. She looks up at him, where he’s glowing faintly, with growing horror on her face. _Vax, what did you do?_ It’s less of a question and more of a demand, her voice gone low and deadly.

Uh. Using the Raven Queen’s exchange policy? He winces at the look on Vex’s face at this, and takes her hands in both his own. _It’s fine. I’m going to work for her, something about protecting the world, or some such bullshit. It’s worth it._

_No, it’s not!_ Vex shakes her head, tears gathering in her eyes but she bites them back as she always does, gods, he loves his sister so much, she’s so much stronger than he. _It’s not worth it, if it means that I lose you-_

_Yes. It is._ He interrupts her, making very deliberate eye contact. _Because I cannot live in a world that doesn’t have you in it. It’s done, Vex’ahlia, it’s a god’s will, there’s no changing it._

Her eyes are blazing, righteous anger and hurt so fierce he thinks she’ll disintegrate him on the spot. _We’ll see about that._

She stands, only a little wobbly, and shouts into the void that surrounds them. _Hey! Raven Bitch, I want to talk to you!_

_What the fuck are you doing?_ Vax hisses, grabbing her arm.

_Shut the hell up,_ she wrenches her arm out of his grip, _You don’t get to talk any more._

The immense shape of the Raven Queen appears out of nowhere and stares down at the two of them, seemingly unimpressed. _I beg your pardon?_

_Hi, yeah. Do I get a say in this deal? Because I’m **apparently** a central part of it, and I wasn’t consulted._

Waves of amusement seem to roll off the figure, and Vax barely refrains from burying his face in his hands. _Do you have a request, little one?_

Vex visibly bristles at that but calms herself. _Yes. Take me as well._

**_What?_** Vax sputters and starts forward. _That is pretty much exactly what I was trying to avoid._

The Raven Queen tilts her head. _You wish to die?_

_No, I want to join him._ Vex stabs a finger at Vax’s chest. _I want in on this whole protecting the world schtick. He’s an **idiot,** he can’t do this by himself, he’ll end up dead or whatever within a day._

_You **do** remember that we’re here because you **died,** right?_ Vax hisses, folding his arms. His sister flaps a hand at him to shut up.

_You’ll be protecting your investment. He needs me._ She lifts her chin defiantly. _And I need him too._

The Raven Queen considers them. _You won’t be able to have a normal life. There’s no reversing a decision such as this. Are you willing to give up everything that that entails?_

_Yes._ There’s absolutely no hesitation in her statement, and Vax’s heart hurts, he just loves his sister so much.

_Very well._ She inclines her head like she’s listening to something. _You won’t serve me, but I know someone who could use a Champion. Do not squander your gift._ She waves her hand again, and Vex’ahlia comes alight in a faint golden glow, slightly fuzzy at the edges.

She smirks and turns to Vax. _See, brother? She wiggles her fingers. Anything you can do, I can do too._

Vax snorts and embraces her. _You’re an idiot, but I love you._ He kisses her forehead, _I’ll see you soon._

_You fucking better. I’ll find you using my new godly powers._ She pokes him between the ribs and hugs him back quickly.

He brushes her hair behind her ear, then turns to his Lady. _I’m ready, whatever you need. ___

___Come._ She’s radiating satisfaction, and he takes her hand without hesitation._ _

__And so Vax’ildan learns how to be an emissary of death._ _

__It’s not as dramatic as that, as Vex’ahlia often chastises him, but it’s important work, worthwhile. He watches over those that keep to the shadows, the orphans that remind him of times he’d rather forget, the sick and the homeless. All those that pray to the Raven Queen, and various others. He watches criminals pulling knives on each other, and sends in bursts of luck to even the odds, or give the more devout an edge. He spreads his wings of velvety darkness over those who are hiding, from the police or sometimes a family member, and gives them a momentary respite._ _

__But he does act as a guide for those who need one._ _

__He extends his hand to men, women, children; anyone he is sent to see. He doesn’t get orders, per say, but he will feel a tug in his gut and unfurl his wings, and he’ll be where he needs to be.  
He’s able to comfort them, for the most part. Tell them what they need to hear to accept his hand, and step to the other side. They’re worried about their families, their friends, the people they will leave behind. He promises each and every one of them that he’ll look after their people, make sure they’re okay and not suffering. He also keeps this promise._ _

__This is how he meets Keyleth._ _

__He could…feel her, in a way. The way he can feel Vex, and sometimes Pike and Grog and Scanlan, too. They’re spots of brightness at the edge of his consciousness, each with their own distinct feeling. Although he hadn’t met Keyleth, didn’t know her name, she was a fuzzy, green tinted spot of light, bringing up memories of afternoons in a forest, and the scent of morning dew and crushed grass._ _

__He’s checking on a family who lost their grandmother, leaving a few extra coins in the daughter’s pocket, when he feels like he’s being watched. He looks over his shoulder and sees movement at the edge of the woods, by the family’s small garden. A woman stands there, seeming larger than life with the antlers that rest upon her crown, clothed in plain, brown clothing that seems to have living plants entwined within it._ _

__She’s standing and waving a hand over the garden, attempting and completely failing to be nonchalant, giving a little extra life to the plants, making the vegetables a little larger. She keeps flicking glances at him as he walks over,_ _

_Skulk, you skulk around. It’s weird._

_**Shut the fuck up, Vex.** _

like he won’t notice her staring.

_Oh, hi!_ She says, in a completely unsurprised tone, hand going up to flutter at her antlers. _I didn’t, uh, see you there._

Vax snorts. _Yeah, okay. There something you need? You’ve been staring._

_No, I- oh fine. I just- wanted to introduce myself._ She sticks out a hand in greeting. _I’m Keyleth. I’m new around here._ Vax stares at her hand for a second before taking it. It’s warm and soft, calloused in ways he didn’t expect.

_Vax’ildan. Nice to meet you._ And it is. She seems…nice.

_Oh, I know. Your sister- Vex?- she told me where you would be. She said I need to get out more. So, here I am! Out!_ She throws her arms out wide, and some of the trees grow towards her like they’re reaching. She pulls her arms back, just a little. _Oops. Still not used to that._

Vax stares, just a little.

_Anyway, I figured we should get to know each other, if we’re going to be working together. You know, life and death, the universe’s greatest dichotomy, all that. Not all life!_ She’s very adamant on this point. _Oh, gods no, just like. Growth, renewal, regeneration. That kind of thing._ She starts nodding and Vax nods along with her. He’s not sure why.

_Sure, why not._ One of his ravens flutters down from the treetops, nipping at his ear gently to signal that he’s got a job. He opens his mouth to make his goodbyes, when Keyleth gasps.

_Look at him! What a sweetheart, such a pretty bird._ She reaches out a finger to give scratches, and Emory, who has never been the friendliest of birds, coos a little and leans into the touch. _I never knew why people didn’t like ravens, they’re gorgeous birds._

Vax snorts again. _Well, they’re omens of death. Lots of people don’t like to be reminded of the inevitable._

Something in Keyleth’s face hardens, and she draws her hand back to cross her arms. _They’re more than that. They’re incredibly intelligent, and they care about the other birds in their flock. They get a bad rap because they’re scary looking, but they’re not mean birds. Just like how people think pretty things are harmless, because they look soft._ She snaps her fingers, and a vine with small purple flowers grows rapidly, strangling and crushing the tree it was growing on. Keyleth raises one of her eyebrows, and Vax-

Look, Vax isn’t saying that that’s the moment he fell in love with Keyleth, because that would be stupid and ridiculous, since they’d only known each other a very short time. But he’s also not saying it’s not the moment he fell in love with her, because as Vex likes to remind him, he is sometimes a stupid and ridiculous man.

_Well, I suppose you’re right._ He clears his throat and pets Emory to give his hands something to do. _I have to go. It was nice to meet you, Keyleth. I’ll see you around._

_Oh, alright._ Vax would like to say she looks a little disappointed that he’s leaving her so soon, but he doesn’t know her well enough to make that kind of statement. _Goodbye, Vax. See you soon!_ She smiles and waves, and that’s the last thing he sees before he spreads his wings and darkness unfolds around him. 

_(He knows enough to know that he’s in deep trouble, judging by how badly he wants to make her smile again.)_

Oddly enough, he does see her again. At first, it’s only in passing, whenever they end up in the same neck of the woods. He gets a little lonely, so he seeks out her company when he can, and she always seems genuinely delighted to see him. She becomes closer to Vex as well, so he sees her when he visits his sister, which is fairly often. After she gets in a scrape with a demon trying to attack a town under her protection, he sends Emory to keep an eye on her, in the name of friendship. She scoffs, but doesn’t send him away, just sends him a reminder that _Soft things aren’t harmless, Vax_ in the form of a snowy owl that lands on his head and pecks at him, _hard._

He tries _(and fails)_ to think it’s not cute.

But they fight, too. The first time they clash, it’s over a child. She’s sick, and there’s nothing more that healers or clerics can do for her. Vax has been watching, waiting for days for her family to make their peace with it, to give them the opportunity to say their goodbyes. He tries his best to make it as painless as possible, as well, she’s small and doesn’t deserve the hand that fate has dealt her. But he’s not the one who makes those decisions, so he stays quiet and close, and waits for his moment.

Which Keyleth keeps delaying.

The family is incredibly devout, and as farmers, they revere the goddess of growth above all. The altar in their home, lovingly decorated with branches, fruit, and sheaves of wheat when the harvest is abundant, is never barren, and as a result, Keyleth feels indebted to this family. At first, she chats with Vax when she’s there. She makes the flowers and crops just a little bigger, stronger, and she wipes sweat from the girl’s forehead, gives her a moment’s respite. But Keyleth has a lot to do, and she can never stay for long. She visits as often as she can, but the child keeps getting sicker and sicker, and Keyleth becomes frustrated with Vax, ceasing to speak to him, openly glaring when she catches him hovering in the corner of the room. He doesn’t know how to explain to her that this isn’t his _choice,_ he’s doing as he’s bidden, but it doesn’t matter, because she doesn’t give him the chance.

She finally snaps when he’s reaching for the girl, surrounded by her loving family, tired and ready to cross over into what comes next. _Stop! Just stop it, don’t you dare touch her!_ She puts herself bodily between him and the girl, hands at his chest, pushing him back. He steps away, more out of shock than anything. It’s been years since anyone touched him, besides Vex.

_Get out of the way, Keyleth. It is not your place to interfere._ He doesn’t make eye contact, keeps his gaze on the girl.

_But it’s your place? You get to decide when someone has to leave?_ She looks _**furious,**_ almost seething and he stares at her in confusion.

_I don’t make these decisions, I just do as I’m told._ He frowns at her. _There must be balance, you know that. Without death, life has no meaning, no consequence. This is what I do._

_It’s not fair! Look at her!_ She gestures to the girl, no more than ten, with a shaking hand. _What about the people she’s leaving behind? They had eight years with her, eight years! That’s nothing, that’s the blink of an eye for us. Can’t you leave her be, for just a little longer? ___

He blinks in confusion. _You think I want this? You think I want to break up families, take children away from their parents, and parents from their children?_ His voice is shaking, she doesn’t know, she can’t know that this is what he hates most, that everything he’s done has been worth it to make sure Vex is safe, but that hurting people this way cuts him a little deeper every time. _This is the worst thing I have to do, and I don’t have a choice, Keyleth!_

_You do! You always have a choice, whether you like it or not. You could say no, just this once, spare this little girl and put a bit more good back into the world?_

_You think it’s that easy?!_ They’re shouting at each other now, and he’s never been more grateful for the selective invisibility that comes with godly powers, because this would be an incredibly awkward conversation to have in a stranger’s living room. _You don’t think I carry them with me, always? How can you say that, that I’m heartless, you think I enjoy this? I **hate** this, you have no idea how difficult this is for me. It’s easy for you to be high and mighty, sitting in your garden of fucking flowers!_

_Well you don’t seem to care! You’re destroying peoples’ lives, and you don’t care! You don’t stop it- someone has to stop it- it’s not f-fair._ Her lip quivers, and tears begin to fall down her cheeks. He steps forward, barely thinking and takes her hand, pulling her close. With a rush of air, he transports them to a glade in the middle of the forest, quiet and filled with light. He holds her against him as she cries, shaking along with her and for the first time not pushing away the pain, letting it wash over him as he understands and _feels_ what he’s doing by keeping the scales even.

She pulls away, wiping at her eyes and sniffling, stepping back to put space between the two of them. _I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. I know you’re fulfilling your purpose but-_ she cuts herself off and bites back her words, gaze fixed on a tree to her left. _It doesn’t mean I have to like it. ___

He watches her intently, her crossed arms and stiff posture. _I lost my mother,_ he says quietly, and her head whips back around to watch him, when I was sixteen. Vex and I, she was all we had, and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing but watch. Then, Vex almost died and I, well- _he shrugs, still watching her,_ there was something I could do. I have never regretted it, not once. And I try to tip the balance when I can. Give people a fighting chance. But sometimes, there’s nothing I can do, and gods, Keyleth you must understand that I wish so badly that there was something I could do.

She stands there, still as a statue, and watches him. He waits for her to say something, stays there so long he thinks she’s never going to speak to him again, until she finally says, _I lost my mother too._

It takes Vax a second to realize what’s happening, because he’s never heard Keyleth talk about her past before, but she’s looking at him now with fire in her eyes and tension in her stance, and he knows he cannot fuck this up.

_She didn’t die, she just left us. We thought she was coming back, but she never did. She made the choice to leave us, and it still hurt like nothing else ever has. She left, and everything, all the responsibilities fell to me, things I never wanted and never got to choose. And all I could think about was how I never knew that it would be the last time I saw her, and eight years with her was not nearly enough-_ She breaks off again, voice shaking. She sighs and composes herself and looks up at the canopy.

_And then I ended up being just like her. I prayed for days, months even, for someone to take me away because I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t be what they wanted and needed me to be. I chose to leave my family, my tribe behind because they wanted me to be something I couldn’t. I had to do something for myself, and this was it._ She makes eye contact again, and it’s like she’s staring into his soul, into his heart of hearts. But he sees her, and he feels seen in return, and he thinks maybe she feels it too, because she relaxes, and all the tension goes out of her willowy frame.

_I’m sorry that your mother left you. And I’m sorry that choices aren’t always easy, and they hurt people as often as they help. But I have to do my job, Keyleth. I’m bound to her, it’s my duty._

She nods. _I know. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, though._ Her lips quirk up in a small, sad smile, and he nods back at her.

_I have to go back. Are you coming with me?_

She shakes her head this time. _No. I’ll visit them later, give what comfort I can. You go. And Vax-_ she reaches for him as he turns to go, and her hand on his arm feels like a benediction, like forgiveness. _Please, help her. She’s scared, she’s never been alone before._

He nods. _I’ll guide her over myself, make sure she isn’t afraid._ He squeezes her hand, and leaves, returning to the girl and her family. He takes her soul in his hands and fulfills his promise. She isn’t alone or scared the entire time.

Things change, after that. He still rules in the dark corners of the world, guiding the scared and giving aid when he can. But he sees little reminders that he’s not alone, too. A morning glory, blooming in the light of the full moon, a white raven, watching him from a fence post. Even if she’s not there, he can feel her presence in every one of her gifts.

_(He sends them back, too. Emory is now permanently Keyleth’s guard, glossy black cats follow Keyleth in the shadows of the streets at night and curl around her legs, and whenever Keyleth needs it, she can always find her way through even the blackest of nights, like the shadows themselves are guiding her path.)_

_(Vex says he’s being sappy and ridiculous. He does not care.)_

He’s scared, a little, by the strength of what he feels for her. He’s had lovers before, gods like him because he doesn’t play with mortals, _(Which is why he teases Vex so relentlessly for her infatuation with the pompous asshole she’s mooning over.)_ and they all still have a special place in his heart.

_(Shaun especially, for teaching him that it’s okay to want, to need, to ask. He owes Shaun Gilmore, quite a lot.)_

But this, this inescapable pull. This is something he’s never encountered before, not even with Vex. He and Vex are two halves of one whole, but with Keyleth, he feels like two planets in orbit around each other. Each little change pulls the other along with, and they are forever linked. He reaches for that bright, green light at the edge of his consciousness and can feel her reaching back, pleased and sending a flood of warmth back at him.

It's a surprise to no one but them, when they’re walking along the shore one day, that she grabs his face and kisses him. He’d been telling her a dumb joke he heard from a stable boy he’s been watching over, and she had been laughing, which of course made him think about how gorgeous she is when she laughs, and she looked over at him with a soft look on her face and leans over and just plants one on him. He’s stunned, absolutely petrified _(and he can almost hear Vex cackling and how ridiculous and star-struck he is)_ and Keyleth looks almost as worried and stupefied as he.

_Oh gods, I didn’t mean to jump you, you just. You looked so cute, with your face and your mouth and your- you. I’m sorry, but I’m not, because I really like you, probably even love you, even though Vex says you’re a dork who slept with a teddy bear until he was fourteen and-_

_Keyleth._ She stops talking quite abruptly, and he takes her hand again, gently. She squeezes it back, letting all her nervous energy out. He just looks at her, and then smiles. He looks at her and sees something he never thought he would find.

Because, for all that he loves Vex, she’s too much like him. She’s cynical and mistrustful, believes that people are dangerous, in more ways than one. They’re two sides of the same coin, and they’ve seen too much to believe that the world is at its core, a good place.

But Keyleth? Keyleth looks at a smoldering wreck of a town and thinks, _Okay, how can we fix this? How can we learn and make this better for the people who come after?_ She can be so bright and good sometimes it hurts to look at her, but he is drawn to her. She makes him better, and he wants to be better for her. He might be some shitty little flower in love with the sun, but **goddammit,** he’s _her_ shitty little flower, and he’s going to take this chance and run with it. She doesn’t like what he does, he knows that, but she accepts that he does it for a reason, that he brings balance to her and to their world. You can’t create shadows without the sun, and a world without shadow would be pretty damn boring, he thinks.

So. He leans in, and kisses her gently. And she keeps her eyes open the whole time because apparently no one told her that you’re supposed to close your eyes when you kiss someone. But she’s looking at him like he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her, and like hell is he going to let that go. _Keyleth, I love you._

She shines brighter than the sun, and kisses him again, and Vax feels something within him settle, something finally becoming balanced. She is the sun and he is the shadow. He can shelter her when the world becomes too much, and she warms him constantly with her light. 

They are happy, and this is their choice.

_(This probably means he’s going to have to stop making fun of Vex for her crush on the mortal with the white hair.)_

_(Dammit.)_

**Author's Note:**

> Technically a prequel, but I wrote it second while abroad/studying for the GRE, so it's a bit murky, timeline-wise. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are deeply appreciated, and warm my soul.
> 
> (also, dear lord, I am never using italics as dialogue markers again that was the worst)


End file.
